You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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