im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Slut skills are useful in every country.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
