i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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