The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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