I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
