I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
