big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
