Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
