Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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