I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
