Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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