sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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