He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
