Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
