good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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