It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize