I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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