The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
