people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
