dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
