I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
