So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
