Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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