Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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