Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
