Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
