I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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