He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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