We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
