Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
