she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
