I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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