I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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