And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize