can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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