i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
