You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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