My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
