We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Someone came in the potted fern
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
