I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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