I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
