No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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