i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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