i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize