When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Randomize
