I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
ttyl tear gas
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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