whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
