Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
