Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
