What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
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