waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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