walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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