the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
