wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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