he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
