I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
