It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
