lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
